If you're new to my life, let's catch you up:
Small town girl graduates college and moves to big city for new job. A 6 hour drive from her family, a new apartment alone and her hugely extroverted personality brings confused feelings.
And so it begins...
My entire life has been filled to the brim with people. Parents, a sibling, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends galore. Never once have I had to spend time alone when it wasn't wanted. My entire life I've learned to live with people. How to react to them, how to love them, disagree with them, be polite and any other human interaction that could be thought of.
The key word here is people, isn't it? We spend our whole lives learning to live with people, but who teaches us how to live alone?
The answer I've come up with is that no one teaches you how to make it by yourself in this world. Your parents (if they're good ones) teach you how to earn a life, but not how to live by yourself. Even in school we first learn how to share and play nice with others, not how to entertain yourself when you don't have someone with you. (although I never needed someone to show me how to start up a conversation with myself) We don't enjoy being alone as a child so we even create imaginary friends.
I think my outgoing, people loving, extrovert personality is to blame for the way I feel when I'm alone. Some of you might be thinking, "Gosh this girl is such a big baby." If you do then....well, think as you wish but I'm still gonna type.
I was always been shown that if there was a problem then I should find a way to fix it. If there's something that needs to be done, then do it. So that's my plan.
Problem: Being alone isn't my thing.
Goal: Conquer problem.
Learning to live alone for the next year (contracts are a pain, aren't they?) will be my next step in this new life of mine. I've got my degree, two great jobs, my own apartment and after some hard work I finally have the money to pay for it all myself. Yes, this new adventure will be difficult, and I may not even end up completely happy but I know that I will at least be satisfied. Satisfied that I will have conquered something that I never really wanted to in the first place. Something that I thought would have been impossible for me to do.
Ha! And I tell people I'm not adventurous! (Oh how I do hate unplanned adventures) This adventure may have been unplanned but that won't stop me from pressing through it. I will take the bull by the horns (as my mother would say) and I will conquer the task laid before me.
Here's to a great year of my own space, the TV as loud as I want it and taking the whole couch for myself.
I'll smile a little brighter a year from now knowing that I did something that I never thought I could.
